On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
try to milk me bitch
I forget how to act sober
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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