Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
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six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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