Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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