So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
