Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
