so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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