Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
