actually, I'm a sock model
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
