Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
