So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
