So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
