I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i think im in europe. pls send help
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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