Sober January is a disaster.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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