I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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