I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
