your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
