I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
