Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
