I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize