I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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