He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.