I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
