"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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