next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We had sex on a dog bed..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
