Just fell off a train. Bad.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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