Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
