My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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