PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
