Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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