i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
