Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
