I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's blow job season.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
