he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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