Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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