like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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