My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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