we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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