I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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