My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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