I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
