Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
