Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
