kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
how does that bad decision feel?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
