Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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