Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize