tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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