I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i think i have two assholes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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