Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
