seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
