guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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