It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
