Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
