dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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