i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
